01/25/12 — Dating Doctor visits Mount Olive College with words of advice

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Dating Doctor visits Mount Olive College with words of advice

By Becky Barclay
Published in News on January 25, 2012 1:46 PM

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David Coleman, known as "America's Dating Doctor," speaks to a packed house of college students during a seminar held at the Southern Bank Auditorium on the campus of Mount Olive College late Monday night. Coleman, whose pedigree in relationship counseling was the inspiration behind the Hollywood film "Hitch," is renowned for his ability to help people with relationship problems. During the night Coleman spoke about issues ranging from dating to marriage, and took questions from curious college students.

For all those single people living in Wayne County, and especially those at Mount Olive College, the Dating Doctor has a piece of advice -- no one is going to ring your doorbell on a Wednesday night and say "Hi, I'm here to meet you." It's not going to happen, he said, so people who are single -- no matter what their age -- need to get out to meet people and then decide if that person is worth dating.

David Coleman, who lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, says he has given about 3,000 presentations to nearly 2 million romantically challenged people during his 15-year career as the Dating Doctor. He's also a relationship coach, working one-on-one with clients.

During his presentation at Mount Olive College earlier this week, Coleman gave the students the ABCs of how to know if someone is worth pursuing within five minutes of meeting him or her -- attraction, believability, chemistry and desire.

"Spend no more than an hour of time with that person," Coleman said. "If it's the wrong person, you will look at your watch and say, 'Why won't you move?' If time flies by, you are with the right person."

Believability, Coleman explained, is when his words are sincere and genuine and you just know he's not lying or handing you some line. Chemistry is every type of attraction but physical -- does he put a smile on your face and make you laugh? Lastly, he said, do you have a desire to get to know that person better? If so, then go for it, even if you have to get past the corny pick-up lines that some men use when meeting a woman for the first time.

"It's harder for men to introduce themselves to women than it is for women to introduce themselves to men," Coleman said. "In the deep dark recesses of that brain of yours (speaking to the women in the audience), you think that all we men just want is sex.

"If he's cute and has potential, but has a bad pickup line, cut him some slack."

He also talked about how men show interest in women.

"He is not deterred by any of the barriers you put up" Coleman said. "He can't and won't use weak player tactics on you.

"He turns to mush brain, where he temporarily goes blind and deaf around you."

Coleman said a man will also use the three-eye contact method to show interest in a woman. He makes eye contact, then looks away and says nothing stupid. He looks back and holds the eye contact until the woman looks away, then makes final eye contact.

"This works really well when you're at a party or other event," Coleman said. "Then after using the three-eye contact, you (men) move to another spot into the room. Then when she looks back, you are gone. Being a woman, she can't stand not finding you and will look around for you."

Women show interest differently, Coleman said.

"She maintains eye contact," he said. "She will stay in your presence, too.

"Guys, if she takes out her cell phone without you seeing, and hits the self-ring, then says she has to take the call, she's using her cell phone to escape you. But that's no reason when you meet a woman to ask for her cell phone and damage it so she can't use it to escape you."

A woman will also show interest by smiling, laughing and bantering with a man. She will break the "touch barrier" by lightly touching him and saying something like, "No way" or "Oh you."

"And women are constantly thinking about the future," Coleman said. "When you meet a woman for the first time and she says 'I'm going to this event later, are you,' she's setting up a date with you. When you say you will be there, it's a date, and you may not even know it."

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Coleman ended with tips for the men.

"Red is the color for Valentine's Day," he explained first. "It really stands for the blood of every man who has screwed up that holiday."

The Dating Doctor suggested that men give their girlfriends their present on Feb. 13 instead of the 14th, along with a note that says, "No one as special as you should have to wait another day."

"And if she doesn't like the present, then you still have another day to find another one," he said with a laugh.

"Or buy 15 bags of Hershey candy kisses. Open 10 bags and put them in a pile outside her door. But first you have to make sure she's home.

"Make a trail of candy kisses leading to your hiding place in the bushes or behind a tree. Ring the doorbell and hide. When she finds you, tell her now that 'Now that I've kissed the ground you walk on, will you go out with me?'"