Ready for the Big A ... I hope ...
By Laura Collins
Published in State News on February 3, 2010 11:39 AM
It's "A" Day.
My eyes are narrowed and my pupils are focused like a predator seeking its prey. My prey is a 3-pound cheeseburger.
It's 10:43 a.m. and I have just over two hours before I take on the Andy's Big "A" Challenge. My brothers have already started sending me portions of Knute Rockne's "Win one for the Gipper" speech to pump me up. I'm not really sure how it applies, but apparently it does.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I watched a YouTube video yesterday of a group of people doing the challenge. A couple of them were unable to keep the food down, which is immediate disqualification.
I do not want to be that person. I feel like after the age of 5 it is socially frowned upon to vomit in public places.
Just ask President George Bush Sr. who had the unfortunate happen at the home of the Japanese Prime Minister. The media eventually found out and it took a while for him to live that down. Since I am the media, I will have no buffer period before the media finds out.
I have also lined up maternity pants to wear for the challenge to ensure full expandability. The ones that were given to me are pretty horrendous. They are some sort of acid wash blue jeans with an expandable front panel. Not cool, but I'll take what I can get.
I'm off now to walk laps in the parking lot to build up my appetite. I'm trying to convince someone to follow me in their car and play "Eye of the Tiger" on repeat. No luck so far.