Have you ever heard of an evidence collector?
That is an actual job, if you’re so inclined.
You may have even been training for it already and not know it.
The most typical job description is to gather samples and information for police or law professionals to connect someone to a crime or case. Evidence, after all, is what can lead to catching the bad guys or clearing the good ones.
Did you know, though, that there are actual experts, disguised as amateurs but operating quite adeptly in this arena — poised and at the ready to prove others in their path as wrong.
These are the folks who are in the business of being right. Maybe you’ve heard of them, or know a few. Maybe you’re one yourself, although truthfully not many are known to voluntarily ‘fess up to such a title.
So to cut to the chase and take the hot spotlight off of everyone else, I’ll take the heat, at least for the next few minutes.
For you see, I have come to realize that I have been an evidence-collector. I’ve done my share of holding onto things someone else said to me or clinging for dear life to the wrongs others have done at my expense. How dare they!!!
It is a very easy thing to do. Truth be told, there have even been times when I could actually feel my blood pressure rising as I stood at the crossroads of fight or flight.
These were occasions when I made the choice to fuel the anger, engage in battle, “show them” by stirring the pot or stewing in the afterglow of making them wrong simply by the belief that I could actually win at being right.
Cut to the chase — nobody wins when we do that. When it comes down to the choice of being right or being happy, I have learned to embrace the concept that being happy trumps the other option. Every time.
My husband can attest to how many times I stumbled and failed miserably at something I thought he meant or believed was said. And I can confess that in that process I wasted far more time than was necessary.
Learn from my experience. The moment I stopped collecting evidence, the second I decided to let go of that rope and instead sought peace, harmony and
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acceptance of others, was the day my life turned into a much happier place.
Of course, for some this will make no difference. They are content with sitting in their rightness with no one to argue with, as after awhile such folks are essentially left alone.
If, however, you value relationships and are looking for a way to make sure you have some in the future, perhaps consider disbanding the collection while you can.
In contrast, there’s a saying that I really like — If you were on trial for being a Christian, would they have enough evidence to convict you?
Let me just say, that would be the only occasion when having evidence — in this case, demonstrating we are a kind person versus a “right” one— works in our favor.